Friday, March 9, 2012

Could this be it?

        Father Murphy was really not as threatening as the nervous tensions told me to be... those voices in my mind that caused me to picture being struck down as a disappointment to society with my past divorce. No he was kind and real to us, as a true friend would be.

     Leah came along as they had a half day of school, anything to get out of the house for her… but I was glad she came. Leah and Father Murphy click really well and he introduced her to a bunch of different ideas for her to be involved with in the Church, such as the youth group. I could see in her eyes that her wheels were turning …”fun” was what she was thinking coming from the “I’m bored” eleven year old attitude… “friends” that are in the neighborhood that are in her youth group’s age – girls that she knows from school and are already friends with.

Finally – a smidgen of normalcy!

When it starts to happen, the normalcy, after years of raising children out of suitcases… I don’t know I am slightly overwhelmed right now. Wow.

I introduced the two of us and expressed that I was not really sure where to start… that there was probably no other family around town with our situation… and that my family needs so much help right now.
There was absolutely no formal approach, I had no proof, copies, papers, photos, nothing that would be required in all of the other aspects of our marriage up till this point
 – including his I-130 & the prep for the hardship waiver – “PROVE” to us you are REAL…
The traveling to be with each other with our children between countries, they say, “now SHOW us your passports and why were you in Mexico”… to which we always respond, “just being a family.”
Walking through life without as much as an ounce of trust coming from anyone that we are just a real life family so simply, I guess that I have become accustomed to the proof part of who we really are. I went to the Church without any form of proof. I refused to make yet one more aspect of my life an instant business deal. This was about the responsibility that I have to make sure that my family is not living under this huge horrible weight that has been placed on us, regardless of the fault or circumstance...
– we are beyond that “figuring it out how we got here stage” and we are in the “we need to save ourselves right now” stage. We were simply asking to be rescued.

Right away he started jotting down information like my kids’ names, which led to past marriages, which lead to our marriage, which led to a few explanations that are not bragging material to a priest. His expression did not change; he did not snarl or let out any breath of disapproval… he just kept talking and asking questions… trying to make sense of my complicated situation with multiple factors… without judgment – as it should be.

Obvious that I love my husband, and without asking for proof of that, Father Murphy said to me, “Bring all of the papers in that I will need to take over to the lawyer and I will sponsor you. If the diocese has some type of reservation, because they have rules about different things, I know people that will do it.”     

     He wondered about hospitalization - which gave me the opportunity to explain the sponsorship step of the immigration process. Due to the lack of immigration reform, the immigration process presently does not reflect on the US Welfare System’s reform of its benefits policy being unable to be accessed by a non-citizen of the USA, potentially cancelling itself out. I gave him the hypothetical situation where if Ricardo were to be here and find himself hurt enough to require medical attention and say we were not insured, the hospital would not call upon government assistant in the case of a non US citizen however would bill the total cost of the visit directly to Ricardo and I at our address. The sponsorship has no exchange of money. It was basically set up to cover any money that the government lost in paying for the immigrant.
He asked what work I have right now or have had and I let him know that I was a full time student in my second year at an online university to be a preschool teacher with a 4.0 grade average, and  of my past work experience as a mail-carrier for 7 years and my job in the work comp claims business.

Then he asked me “What does he do for a living?” I clumsily described Ricardo’s job as a delivery driver for the many ice cream stores in our Mexican state of Morelos of the big buckets of ice cream products used to make the ice cream… followed by “he’ s a really great driver” because he really is exceptional. He said without hesitation that he can get a job easily with someone that he knows as a driver for an asphalt company, just the technicalities of getting his license.
He asked where we were planning on living, and asked if I realize that homes are really expensive. I said I am not looking for a luxury home, we would be happy simply having stability in an apartment. I then said, “I realize there are many technicalities to life, like him getting the correct license and us finding a home, but when our life gets to the point where we are facing these questions, that is when we know that we are experiencing some type of normal life, and that is all we want is to be a normal family.”
He asked me, “Why did it take you so long to come here?”  I told him that we do not have a car and we do not make it to Church in the city to St Paul’s so we heard that St Fidelis is Roman Catholic and my sister in San Diego had a baby so my parents left us my mom’s car to use and because we were so happy to have transportation we went to church on Sunday and then on Wednesday too because it was Ash Wednesday and there was a song that they played and it was about Jesus but for me it was about my husband and it was page 216 and it made me realize that I just needed to be brave and ask the Church to help us… He got the picture.

I want to believe that he is going to take us under his wing I guess…. HUGE project for anyone…

Of course when you are this bruised, even the best news is too scary to believe.

Maybe we will finally get our opportunity though. Maybe I can focus on one sure plan instead of juggling 4 or 5 possible plans each with detrimental outcomes.

Thank God!

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